
Scripture Art: Behind the making of Isaiah 43:19 Art
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Time to read 5 min
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Time to read 5 min
It was a Wednesday night in late May. There were multiple interactions the previous day that had led me to feel exhausted and in a dark lonely place. I hadn’t struggled with thoughts like the ones I was having since I was a high schooler - and the only way I knew how to cope was to go into the attic of our little bungalow and paint. This was tricky, because I was already feeling defeated about the progress, or lack-there-of in a big project with a deadline quickly approaching. Despite my feelings toward my failing abilities, I picked up the brush. I intended to paint some leaves but this soon turned into a therapy session with tears and this meant there would be no room for fine details in any painting this evening.
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“God, please do something!” I prayed. I was displeased with the events that had transpired over the past few weeks that were revealing all too many imperfections in my heart. “God,” I thought, “I’ve known you for nearly 25 years, why can’t I just trust you?”
I felt like I was in a desert. I have this saying with my husband and my friends. It’s this - “Man, I’m such an Iseralite.” And it’s true. I often feel like I’m wandering in the desert and complaining to God as though he’s never come through on his promises…and I even have air conditioning and a full fridge.
The Lord has always come through on his promises. He has always brought me my manna, and this time, up in my little studio attic I felt like I had started to wander. I realized that I started to act as though I’m the one who has to control things, as if the Maker of the Universe himself simply had poor timing and plans that simply weren’t efficient enough for my hopes and dreams. I was prideful, arrogant, and controlling. But, that is what led me to feeling desperate and lonely. And I started to spiral.
I wasn’t living the way God created me to be. He created me to be dependently aware of him. He created me to simply live in the joy and delight that he has in me, his daughter. I wasn’t living in this beautiful truth.
As I lay in bed that night, a flash of a painting scene came to my head. The next day, I tried something out. Played with it, and now, you have this piece here. You see, as I was painting that deep blue saturated color all over the watercolor paper. The Lord started to change my heart.
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